9:00 a.m. Already called US Airways twice to see if our flight has been delayed. I woke up to a large dumping of snow (which turned out to be a record breaking 33” by the end of the day) and it’s still going strong. In KY, this kind of weather would be great and it would slow me down. Today, not no way, not no how. Come on New England transportation, this is what you’re made for.
9:47. Our apartment friends don’t have a snow shovel and there’s about 16” of snow on the ground making it a very sad path to the taxi.
9:48. Shovel snow with sled from basement.
9:51. T steals a shovel from the neighbor. I’m a champ with a shovel.
12:10. Airport screen still says ON-TIME. You lie, unless the airport took off and has been in the air for 10 minutes. No? That didn’t happen?
1:13. Watching reddish liquid trickle down the windows. Apparently it’s de-icer. I think someone murdered a moose that was catching an illegal ride.
1:23. What is this loud-ass puddle jumper we’re riding in?
1:26. Our uber-gay flight attendant is jealous of my Julian McMahon bookmark. He vows to visit KY if that’s how we roll. I don’t see the connection, but sure.
1:32. Is he just speaking gay or does he have a hint of an accent?
1:33. Want to ask him, but don’t want to offend.
1:45. He loves the new Bachelor on ABC. Just pulled out a magazine to show us how delish he is.
1:50. Even though he’s a nice dude, T openly criticizes him for not giving us in-flight snacks.
1:53. This puddle jumper is sooo loud. Much louder than the concert even. If I lose me hearing today I will be sending a very strongly worded letter.
2:10. Turns out to be the smoothest landing and one of the most fun plane rides ever.
2:15. In LaGuardia. I hate this airport already. Must take a bus to get to the next hanger and catch our flight.
2:17. It’s colder here than in fucking Vermont! I do not <3 NY!
3:23. RAN through the airport to board flight. Ended up priority access. Hmm.
3:45. Flight attendant just said ass. As in, “We board this flight from ass end to front.” I must meet her when she brings me beverages.
3:46. Flight attendant continues to speak to passengers like the ignorant fools we are.
3:48. Waiting for her to say ass again.
3:49. Direct quote: please do not stow your luggage in the first empty compartment that you see.
We are total fools—at least those who’ve brought their 49.5lb bags as a carry-on.
3:53. Men dressed in black skipping down the aisle.
4:46. Finally in the air after sitting on the plane for an hour.
6:11. Someone lost our luggage. My maple candy was on there. FAIL.
6:20. In the car to head back to BG. Trip over. What do you mean I have to work tomorrow? Well, shit.
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