Drunken Diaries, Entry #4: Alcoholic's Fad Diet

Entry #4: October 1-October 2

Why the fuck am I eating sensibly after a night of drinking? Why? I really wanted the frozen mini pizza in my fridge but opted for a banana instead. What is that all about?
Maybe this is the newest fad diet. Get smashed, come home and eat your fruits and veggies. Make sure to drink 100% cranberry or whatever fruit juice with all alcohol. That way any drinking for the night at least considers the 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. That must be why people opt for bloody marys in the mornings. Packed with V8 juice and there’s at least a serving of veggies right there. Besides, who wants to drink that shit straight? Eww. Might as well get a decent buzz out of it. I think I should propose this healthy drinking plan to alcoholics around the globe. Not the ones that go to the meetings though. I have a feeling they would disapprove, even if I’m encouraging proper eating habits in one way or another.
That banana was good. I wonder how it would taste on a combination pizza though.
I went out with a friend tonight that had just gotten out of a lengthy relationship—4 years, and I think one of the years was an engagement. Our purpose for tonight was to get her laid. I’m not sure whether we accomplished that goal, as I’m sitting here writing at 1:36 a.m. and she did not ride back with me and the DD that picked me up. I’ll be waiting for the phone call this morning. Anyway, any man who thinks that girls do not talk about sex as much as dudes can think again. I ended up hanging with 4 other girls and all I heard about was how all they really miss was Mr. Happy. Granted, these girls had just ended relationships within the past month or so, but damn. I mean, I’m pretty sure I overheard guys talking about fat jeans and shirts on sale at the mall while we chatted about stamina and girth. Seriously, dudes. Get a grip.
Okay, I can hardly stand to hear the intro music to the Pushing Daisies season 2 dvd anymore. I need to take the old contacts out, hit play on the dvd, and rest the body—with my by myself. And that’s totally cool because I’m ready to flop all around that bed in pursuit of a good night’s sleep with no work in the morning. Yes. Oh, and it’s raining and should rain the majority of the morning. Sleeping in is best when you can hear the rain.