Classroom Etiquette Series: Seat Establishment

One beautiful freedom I gladly accepted upon entering my first few classes at the university was the liberty of chair selection. Hooray, I can sit in the back to doze off during one class, or I can choose to sit near the front and get involved in another class. Awesome, right?

So generally after the first week, possibly two weeks of classes, seating is pretty much established. There generally aren’t too many people who will change seats each class for a change of pace (however, I have heard of these weirdos). Let’s break it down:

The Monday of the third week of class I walked into my humongous Sociology 100 class and approached my seat. In a sea of empty chairs, some devil decided to place his butt in my chair. I growled under my breath and took the seat in front of him—in turn taking someone else’s seat. Now I suck, too. This happened again in my next class of the day. WTF, lady?

I would like to propose a set of general guidelines regarding seat establishment. They are as follows:

• 1^st day of class: discover your friends and enemies in the class. Make a note to latch on or run from respectively.
• 2^nd day of class: Now it’s time to decide if you can read the notes/stay awake for lecture. Hopefully, you thought of this on the first day, but if you are slow then make note to adjust again. Notify all your friends so that they follow you to this new location. You are the queen bee.
• 3^rd day of class: If you made the mistake of moving up front and you still fall asleep but became more noticeable to the professor, make a very large note to return to the back of the class. Chances are that you do not have friends to keep you awake so there will be no need to notify friends of this move.
• 4^th day of class: Remain in chosen seat
• 5^th day of class: Remain in chosen seat
• 6^th day of class: Remain in chosen seat!
• From here on out until finals or a huge test requires a staggering seating arrangement: REMAIN IN CHOSEN SEAT!