Classroom etiquette series: Right hand not-so-gentle-man

Let’s assume everyone is right handed for the moment. (No, I don’t knock left-handers, it’s just easier to explain if we assume we are all the same—but only for this particular situation because otherwise that would be scary.) Also, let me add that everyone is sitting in one of those chair/desk arrangements in which there is an inadequate amount of table space hovering above your lap by way of chilly metal bars. So here you are sitting in the desk nodding along/off to lecture and you get so in to your activities that the pen you’re drooling on slips and falls to your right. Now, most people I know do not carry around the trash picking claw contraption for these instances. Most people will groan a little bit before painfully arching over the desk. No matter where the writing utensil lands, it is always a centimeter out of reach. So here you are struggling while the person to your right sits watching and choking back chuckles. Your chair starts to tip a little and you let out a tiny warrior cry on a second attempt to reach the pen. This is when the right hand man decides it might be the appropriate time to reach for the item. Great timing as you have already caught a couple digits around the cap and you’re inching the pen under your feet. The pen has entered the realm of privacy and your helper retracts. Finally, you pick up the pen. But now you don’t use it take notes or prop your head up for sleep, you’re marking up your ribs where you think the desk has undoubtedly punctured a lung. Thanks, man.